Random Randomness

I love turtles. They were an obsession of mine for awhile. I even have a gigantic turtle tattoo on my leg.

So when I saw this turtle cake at the grocery store today I was swooning over it. Friends? Are you listening?

My birthday is in June. I want a TURTLE CAKE.

I went to my favorite yarn store today and bought some lovely chunky yarn. I'm going to make this cowl.

My old college friend from Germany is visiting in a few weeks. I haven't seen her in almost 10 years. I can't wait to make this for her!

And, if you needed any more proof of how goofy my kids are, I submit to you these pictures. My brother-in-law came over for a visit tonight and brought the kids some hats.

Photo #1: Clearly tie-dye does not go with everything.

Photo #2: Gawd. I don't even know where to start. Forget the kid, I can only apologize for the unfolded laundry on the chair and the "work-in-progress" light switch.

Reasons to Celebrate

So the kitchen remodel is underway...but we are still stuck in the "electrical" phase.

The old track lighting has been replaced with can lights. Yay! A huge improvement in terms of brightness.

Unfortunately, there are now gaping holes in the ceiling. I've been promised they will be fixed.

Due to the installation of said lighting, there are now other parts of the house where the outlets don't work (again). I imagine it will be another week before this is fixed.

I'm really NOT complaining. All this work has been free.

I also finished the baby booties for Baby Charlotte. I learned how to crochet a chain. That's kind of a big deal for me since I know absolutely zero about crochet.

And lastly, I baked some delicious banana bread. I hate seeing bananas go to waste and this recipe is super easy. I gave one to our "electrician" as a way to say thanks for sort of fixing the lights.

Keep your fingers crossed that power will be restored to the bedrooms once again!!

Scenes from the Weekend: iPhone edition

What is cuter than boys in uniforms?

Well, men in uniforms but that's another post entirely.

It was a Jamba kind of morning.

"Radest Roomies" circa 1988-1989

We may have had one too many of these...

And my kid turned 4. We had a great party. More on that later.

Hope your weekend was fabulous!

Little Monster

As we were sitting down to enjoy a dinner of eggs, chorizo, collard greens and rice last night I received a text from my neighbor. 

It said, "You want to go to Lady Gaga tonight?"

I replied, "Are you kidding me?"

I have a bit of a crush on Lady Gaga -- I love her style, her music and her politics.  She reminds me of my girlhood when Madonna and Cyndi Lauper burst onto the scene.

At least half of the crowd dressed up.  I wish I could have snapped photos of all the Little Monsters but there wasn't enough time.  I did catch a few.  Here are some photos from the night.

Needless to say, she put on a fantastic show!  I can't believe how many costume changes and sets she did.  She talked a lot with the crowd and had a really positive message.

She did a lot of reaching out to the LGBT youth.  She is a true inspiration for so many young people.  With that said, it was also one of the most diverse crowds I've ever seen at a show:  young and old, mothers and daughters, straight and gay and transgender and transsexual, and every single race under the Sun.

Lets just say it was well worth the price of parking and a few drinks!

Things That Are Creeping Me Out

Sometimes I think the universe is trying to tell me things.  Most of the time I listen.  Here a few things that have happened this week that have creeped me out:

1. I spoke with my stepmother on the phone the other day.  She has these "dreams".  Most of the time they come true.
   
   She predicted I would have a boy with my first-born.  In fact, she began crocheting a pink blanket and then stopped midway and switched it to blue.  She also knew I was pregnant with my second before I announced it to anyone.
   
   Anyhow, yesterday she told me that she had a dream that my Grandmother passed away.  She said, "I hope I'm wrong.  But I never have been wrong."
   
   
2. I got an email the other day from facebook.  It said, "You have been tagged in a photo."  That always makes me nervous.  Especially when it's someone I haven't talked to since high school.
   
   She dug out my 18-year-old senior prom picture.  Really?  I wouldn't have been weirded out if it was one of my close friends.  It was the last thing I expected to see.
   
   Just for shits-and-giggles, here it is.  This guy broke my heart.  Like the day after prom.  I guess I should thank him for not doing it before prom.
   
 



Love the black nylons!  He was shorter than me.  I wore flats and bent my leg.  Silly.


3. Finally, I was completely bent out of shape the other day.  Totally focused on myself.  I began blurting out to a friend some stupid problem I had.
   
   Then I noticed she wasn't her chipper self.  Her mom got diagnosed with uterine cancer.
   
   Wow, talk about putting things into perspective.  Sometimes the universe slaps you so hard in the face to remind you that your problems are completely insignificant.

Oh This Weather!

This rainy weather sure puts a cramp in my style.

The good news: lots of baking and knitting

The bad news: trying to reconfigure an "outdoor" birthday party

My little man's birthday party is this Saturday and it was supposed to be a park/playground/bounce house party. Except for the minor fact that there is a 70% chance of rain.

I hate glitches in the best laid plans.

Especially because for six years I worked as an event planner and am used to hotels bending over backwards to make an event successful. Luckily I was able to secure some indoor space -- but it took a lot of "I need to speak to your manager" and assertiveness.

I've calmed down since then and am happy to share some photos of a few days indoors:

Homemade granola. Recipe found here:

Love this picture of my almost 4-year-old:



One half of a set of baby booties for Miss Charlotte:



Completely immersed in The Hunger Games. I cannot put it down. I was Jonesing so hard I texted my neighbor who had Book 3 and said I absolutely, unequivocally needed the last novel or I wouldn't be able to sleep. It was on my doorstep before I came home today.

Rainy Friday

Locked in the house all afternoon -- what else to do but cook, bake, and play?

Me and my little guy. We've been playing Zingo Bingo and Candyland.

Playdate = messy room.

Farm Fresh to You box.

Kale and potato soup. Perfect for a rainy afternoon.

Baking bread.

Uncle Bob. Our electrician. The lights are all working in the house!!

My 1940's Kitchen

I am so crazy excited to be on the verge of a new kitchen. The cabinets, sink, and tile is original from 1946.

We bought this house in 2000 and have done a lot to it over the years. But remodeling the countertops and cabinets just wasn't a high priority until now. Here are some photos to give you an idea of what I've had to endure for 11 years.

This is my sink. I have bleached it too many times to count. There is just stuff that won't come clean. It has been re-caulked so much I'm not sure there is even grout left. (Caulk is a funny word. Say it: caulk.)


The tile is crumbling off the walls. We tried to match it but no one carries this color from 1946. Go figure.

And then we have the lovely track lighting. Do I need to say more? Notice that only ONE light is working.


The light renovation isn't easy for my husband. So he always invites his buddy Bob to come over to help.

These two knuckleheads working together is pure comedy. They could make their own "Jackass" movie. Picture them pretending to electrocute themselves...several times over the course of a day and laughing like 5-year-olds.

Suffice it to say they didn't finish the work on Sunday. The lights don't work in one half of the kitchen or in our bedroom. Every time I try and plug something in it trips the breaker.

My husband thinks it might be time to call an electrician. He said, "I went online to Electricity for Dummies. It said if we do this wrong we could burn down the whole house."

I replied, "Dude, if you have to refer to anything with the word 'dummies' in it then I highly suggest you call someone."

Let's hope we get power by next week.

Sharing is Not Caring

*Warning*
This blog post is not about crafts or knitting. If you have a queasy stomach, read no further. People in this post are fictional and any likeness to any real individuals is purely coincidental.

So I have this friend. Her name is "Bennie".

Bennie's family has been sick with a stomach virus. She was sure she was going to be spared.

Her husband came home early from work complaining of aches and pains and retired to the bedroom to sleep. She whispered to herself, "Thank God it's not me."

About an hour later Bennie was sitting at her computer. She felt a strange sensation in her stomach.

And then something happened.

Before Bennie knew it, she pooped her pants.

Yes! Poor Bennie! The horror! The shock!

She was surprised and embarassed. She ran to the bathroom. And that's where she spent the rest of her day and the following day.

Bennie remembers the last time she pooped herself. It was 1988. Her parents were going through a divorce and after school she had to go home to the empty family house and wait for her mom to pick her up. She watched a lot of Jem and the Holograms.

Bennie was hungry that day and she found an opened and forgotten can of salsa in the refrigerator. Bennie got food poisoning. She vividly remembers her mother laughing at her while she threw up and pooped at the same time. It is a memory burned into her brain.

As will this date in 2011. The day Bennie's children witnessed their mother get violently ill.

It has been a long week for my dear friend Bennie. We wish her well.

Rude Awakenings: Barf-O-Meter

Let's get one thing straight: I'm not a fan of cleaning up vomit.

In order to truly understand the horror that greeted us last night I must give a play-by-play.

Let's start with Saturday, early evening:

5:00pm:
I stroll leisurely across the street to visit my neighbors.

I drink some wine.

Well, a LOT of wine. A bottle, to be exact.

6:00pm:
My neighbor gets a phone call. It's my husband.

He says, "Where the hell are you? You left me with both kids, stranded. Come home so we can go to Burr's"

6:02pm:
I stumble across the street and say, "Okay, let's go to Burr's. P.S. -- Don't let me drive."

6:10pm:
We sit down to order at Burr's. Eli says to me, "Mom, my tummy hurts."

(This is the kid that was puking on Wednesday.)

6:20pm:
Eli can barely sit up and won't eat his ice cream. Something must be wrong for this kid to not eat ice cream.

6:22pm:
Eli says, "Mom, I want to go home now. My tummy really hurts."

6:45pm:
We arrive back at home and Eli refuses a shower or hugs. He gets into his PJ's and asks for a bowl. It's his vomit bowl. The one he keeps by him whenever he gets sick.

7:00pm:
I stumble into bed and, apparently, fall fast asleep.

9:00pm:
"BABE! Eli just threw up. He is crying. You've got to come help me."

9:01pm. The drama unfolds:
We open the door and the most foul-smelling, gut-wrenching, nasty-ass whiff of vomit engulfs us.

It looks like a scene from The Exorcist. There is puke everywhere. It's covering his bed. It is dripping down from the top bunk onto Austin's bed (still fast asleep, mind you).

Eli has vomit coming out his nose. He is screaming bloody murder.

My husband and I stand there paralyzed.

I finally help Eli down and get him into the bathroom. He is crying so hard he is shaking. He wants to take a shower.

9:04pm:
I go back into the room to find Tommy on the top bunk trying to get the sheets. I have to cover my whole face with my shirt and breathe through my mouth.

I say, "We've got to get Austin out of here."

Tommy says, "I can't believe he can sleep through the smell."

I say, "I'm going in after him!"

Maneuvering myself through the dripping vomit I grab our smallest child and pull him to safety. I quickly deposit him into our bed.

9:07 - 9:27pm:
We get all of the sheets, blankets, stuffed animals, rugs and clothes outside.

I grab some wet towels and a flashlight. There are literally piles of chunks hidden in the bunk beds. I hand the wet towels to Tommy and say, "I'll hold the light while you clean it up."

He tries to hand me a towel full of chunks to wash out in the sink. I refuse.
"Nope, not me. I can't do it. I'm gonna throw up."

9:30pm:
The mattresses are lifted, the windows are open, the fan is on HIGH. We close the door. (The scene from Poltergeist is the best way to describe our closing off of the room. You know, the scene where the kids' bedroom is possessed and all the toys are flying around and they keep it tightly shut and locked.)

Tommy says, "I put Eli in our bed."

I say, "WHAT? Um...what if he throws up again? Can't he sleep on the floor in the living room?"

Tommy says, "You are so mean."

11:00pm:
Tommy sleeps on the couch.

I slip into my bedroom and just pray and pray that I don't get thrown up on.

12:00pm:
Eli starts tooting. The smell is overwhelming.

I say, "Eli, hunny, I think you need to go to the bathroom."

Eli, "Mrhmmphhmrhpph."

I say, "Eli, get up and go poop."

Suddenly he shoots out of bed and goes running to the bathroom. I will not describe the sounds I hear. They are frightening. Tommy goes into check on him.

2:00pm:
More tooting. More running. More diarrhea.

3:00pm:
More running. More diarrhea.

3:15pm:
I have to go the bathroom.

I blindly flick on the light and try to find the toilet.

I slip.

I look down and think, "Is there water on the floor?"

I find the toilet and want to DIE. So I clean it up with a ton of Lysol.

Then I look on the ground. I didn't slip on water.

I slipped on the trail of diarrhea my son has left on the bathroom floor.

I want to die again.

6:15am:
Everyone wakes up. Did we sleep? I'm not sure.

6:45am:
Austin goes into their bedroom. I can hear him say, "Mom...what HAPPENED in here?"

And there, folks, is the end of my tale. Here are some photos, of course:

I'm linking up with Kim from Yep, The Blog for her Grab a Beer and Look What I Did Last Week party.

Except that it wasn't such a great party for me.

But I do need beer.

Yarn Wreath

Remember how I said I wanted to make this wreath?

Thanks to the great tutorial on Mrs. Priss, I was able to make the cute little flowers as well.

What better to do on a Friday night when you are in your mid-30's and can't go out? Oh ya baby! Yarn wreath making time.

First I spent about 45 minutes wrapping yarn around the wreath I purchased from Michael's. That was not so much fun.

Here is the semi-finished product:

Then I added the flowers. That was quickly fulfilling. Except that I burned the crap out of my fingers with the hot glue gun.

I can't figure out my obsession with burning myself with a hot glue gun. It reminds me of putting my finger in hot candle wax and enjoying the few seconds of pain to be able to peel off the wax. So creepy but so addicting.

I was going to hang it on our front door. But my husband reminded me that it is a white wreath and would get filthy in about two days.

So it's hanging in my kitchen window for now. And the kitchen remodel Phase 1 starts tomorrow. This poor little wreath was ill-timed.

It will make an excellent Easter wreath next month for sure!

Blankets and Bozos

I finished the blanket for Charlotte. I really like how this pattern turned out.

I used the 8-hour Baby Blanket technique using Encore Worsted Weight yarn. It's two colors held together throughout. This eyelet pattern is lovely.



This afternoon my kids thought it would be a great idea to go down the slide on their skateboards. See below:





I kept saying, "I think this is a bad idea boys."

I could hear crickets. In fact, most of the time when I talk I hear crickets. I feel like I have a Charlie Brown mom voice, "Waa waa waa waa." They pay me no attention.

Luckily no one was injured.

Blog Love: Inspirations

Some days I need a little inspiration. Especially after picking up a vomiting kindergartner early from school. Ew!

My husband loves, loves, loves Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I've made homemade versions for him before. And then I stumbled on this recipe from the Small Measures blogger on Craftzine.

Come to mama! Er, I mean, papa.

And I can't remember if I posted this before but I'm STILL in love with this pattern from golden bird knits. Stacy is also the founder of the New Techniques KAL 2011 on Ravelry that I have been participating in.

What a great gift idea for a fellow knitter. Too lovely for words.

Finally, there is this tutorial from Just Something I Made. For those who celebrate Easter this little number below is simple and easy to make.

And since I love thrifting and antique shopping you may find this on my table this holiday.

Can you tell I'm trying to distract myself from the imminent danger of everyone getting the stomach flu in this house? It may be a long ride friends.

Boys and Their Toys

Six years ago if you would have told me that I would know the names of every Monster Truck I would have laughed in your face. Or slapped you.

And yet here I am raising two boys who love nothing more than the likes of superheroes, race cars, monster trucks, skateboards, Star Wars, and anything else with a weapon.

They have pushed me outside my comfort zone. And I'm not sure it's a gender thing. I think I would feel just as awkward at my age trying to play house or Barbies with a little person. (It's probably an old person thing.)

In any event, my littlest guy is head over heels in love with Monster Trucks. I wouldn't even call it a phase. It's been four straight years of this.

So naturally he asked for a Monster Truck birthday party. Never mind that we had the exact same party last year.

So in honor of his love of Monster Trucks he went to Monster Jam in Oakland:



And we are honoring his wish for another Monster Truck birthday party. I found these great invites on Etsy.


I wish that a repeat birthday theme was easier...but frankly I'm all out of new ideas. Help!

Something in the Works

I can't remember what I explicitly told my husband about my hatred of our kitchen. It may have been along the lines of, "If I don't get a new kitchen counter before the end of the this year I am moving out."

I may have mentioned divorce. I can't remember. But whatever it was he took it to heart and has been busily getting things in order.

Our house was built in the 1940's. Our tile is original. And it is literally falling off the walls. In pieces.

There is no grout left. There are things in the corners of my sink that I try to avoid looking at.

Overall it is a bit of an embarrassment.

So after 11 years we are breaking down and getting new cabinets and a new counter top and a new sink.

Can you say, "Hells to the yeah!!"

This is a work in progress...but at least it's progress:

I'll post before and after pictures. I'm sure there will be a long diatribe somewhere during the process about how much I hate construction in my house.

And there will be wine. Lots of wine.